Romance, Dating, and "The One"

(How I feel when you tell me you're looking for "the one")

I found this article while scrolling under the “Christian culture” tag on tumblr and it really hit home for me. I know this might seem like I’m beating a dead horse here, but the truth is that as many people as I have found that agree with me on this subject, I still find those who believe (or act like) there is one special person that’s perfect for them and it is their biggest aspiration in life to find their “soul mate” (by the way – I’d like to think my life has more purpose than that of marriage but maybe that’s just me). I think this can be a dangerous way to think about dating, marriage, and relationships, so I’m posting my written opinion here as food for thought.
        I think it's very rarely true and over-idealistic to act as though God has one special person for you and everyone else isn't good enough because they're just not "the one." The reason I stand so strongly against this idea of "soul mates" is because I think it teaches people to set themselves up for failure in their dating relationships. It teaches them that not settling means not compromising and that when things get difficult, the relationship is just "not meant to be."        
        Compromise however is KEY in any relationship and while everybody knows this I don't think they understand how much it can take out of someone – i.e. HOW MUCH they will have to compromise in order to make their relationships work. Yet, what I've found is that the more you pour into a relationship, the more satisfied you typically are with your relationship – as long as, of course, the other person is pouring all of themselves into the relationship as well.
         One last thought, someone wise once said to me “don’t look for romance when you’re dating, look for fidelity.” Fidelity is, for those who don’t know, loyalty and faithfulness. I went on to ask this person, “isn’t romance important?” His response? “Of course. But romance is found in fidelity. Find somebody who you can go through the seasons of your life with.” So far, I have found his advice to be valid, and I think it’s a great place to start if you view dating as a means of finding a person that you will choose to spend the rest of your life with. 

-Take it or leave it